War Over Baby David

Over dinner recently at her £10 million London townhouse, Madonna opened her heart to a gathering of trusted friends. "I haven't been this hated since I brought out my Sex book back in the early Nineties," she tearfully confided. "What have I done to deserve this?"

Challenged by one of her more outspoken guests (who wondered aloud why she was bothered, given that her entire career has been shadowed by public outrage) her voice dropped to a near whisper.

"Controversy is fine," replied the subdued star. "But this. . . well, this is different. It's personal."

"This", for the uninitiated, is David Banda, the little African boy she is in the process of adopting amid massive publicity, widespread condemnation and a legal campaign to stop her bringing him back to Britain.

The Malawian toddler has been living with Madonna's family since October last year, and yet the storm over his controversial adoption — which critics insist was not only unethical but also illegal — shows no sign of abating.

Now the Mail has learned that David's father, Yohane, is so concerned about his 15-month-old son that he is making arrangements to fly to England to demand assurances that David is happy and well. The peasant farmer is furious at a "total lack of communication" from Madonna and the Malawian adoption ministry.

Meanwhile, relations between Madonna and her husband, Guy Ritchie, are said to be "seriously rocky", with the film director repeatedly berating her for the way she has handled the situation and rejecting out of hand Madonna"s pleas to adopt another African baby in the coming months.

Small wonder friends say that Madonna is at "her lowest ebb" and on the brink of fleeing the country for her old hometown of New York.

"She's seriously down about it all and harbouring resentment towards everyone who she feels has stitched her up," says a source close to the star. "She feels victimised — even Angelina Jolie has turned on her with critical words about the adoption, for goodness sake. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

"In the midst of all this, none of her friends have stuck up for her. As far as Madonna is concerned all she did was to rescue a poor, ill boy from terrible poverty in Africa, but all she gets is aggravation.

"Even Guy doesn't miss an opportunity to tell her this is her own fault. She feels abandoned and rejected."

Another insider puts it even more bluntly: "She came back from their Christmas holiday with one thought on her mind — she's moving to New York this year. With the kids, and with or without Guy."

That even Angelina Jolie, who has adopted two children from Third World countries, should raise questions about Madonna's actions goes some way towards explaining the singer's siege mentality.

Angelina said earlier this week that she had been shocked by Madonna's decision to take David from the country where his father still lives.

And although the actress has since claimed her words were misinterpreted, friends say Madonna is "a long way from forgiving her" — especially since Angelina's partner, Brad Pitt, is a friend of Guy's and was instrumental in the decision to adopt David in the first place.

But for all Madonna's concerns, nobody is more worried than Yohane Banda. Speaking from his home village of Lipunga, 100 miles from the Malawian capital Lilongwe, he said: "I am desperate to hear how my son is doing. My plan is to go to the UK to see David next month. I have already got the passport forms to fill in, I have had my photographs taken and next week I will be applying for it.

"Despite several appeals, the government has not yet contacted me to tell me about how my son is doing. I also expect Madonna to respond. If she talks to me or sends her people here — or through the government — just to show me pictures of my son and word that he is doing fine, that would be enough and I will not travel."

Mr Banda, who has scraped together enough money for the flight through media interviews (though the Mail did not pay him for this interview), sent David to an orphanage after his wife died and he was unable to care for him and work at the same time.

Yet he was opposed to the boy being taken out of the country. And it should be noted that Madonna has been granted only an 18-month interim order for custody of David, after which she will have to return to Malawi for another court hearing.

But Mr Banda does not have a great deal of faith in his government upholding the rule of law, which states that under normal circumstances children cannot be adopted by foreigners.

Revelations that Madonna is paying £20,000 for a civil servant from Malawi's adoption ministry to be educated in England have not helped allay suspicions that she used her power and money to manipulate the authorities.

Despite the uncertainty surrounding David, his integration into English life continues apace.

Friends say the singer has gone to great pains to make him feel at home. His nursery has been decorated with an African theme, while she and Guy — who dote on the boy — have taken the effort to learn some Chichewa, David's native tongue.

(Extraordinary as it may sound, there is even talk that Madonna has had Malawian earth flown in to fill his sand pit.) All of which is entirely laudable. However, on the question of religion, matters become somewhat more controversial.

Every Friday night, David is taken along with his 'sister' Lourdes, ten, and brother Rocco, six, to the Kabbalah Centre, near London's Bond Street, by their weekend nanny (their long-standing nanny recently walked out, complaining about Madonna's bossiness).

Controversially, Madonna is determined that according to the rules of Kabbalah, David should be circumcised. But his natural father Yohane is strongly opposed to the ritual being carried out — insisting that his son was born a Christian.

But if such disagreements will continue to be a source of friction, they are likely to fade into insignificance compared with a rather more intractable problem: the state of Madonna and Guy's marriage.

Although David has brought a renewed unity of purpose to their family life — David idolises Rocco, while Lourdes will not sleep until he is safe in bed — Madonna and Guy are not on such good terms.

Guy remains angry about the adoption fiasco. "It started off as a good idea, but then it turned into the Madonna show, especially when she went on the Oprah Winfrey show to defend herself without him," says a friend. "That really annoyed him, because it suggested this was all about Madonna the superstar."

He is also increasingly critical of her devotion to Kabbalah, which he believes is becoming "obsessional".

Last month the couple had a blazing public row in the Italian restaurant Cecconi's, in Mayfair. In another recent bust-up, Guy yelled at Madonna in front of friends: "I'll get on my bike if you want me to."

Madonna's reaction, as ever, has been to throw herself into work.

"In that sense, having David hasn't impacted on her routine too much. Her excessive exercise regimen, a minimum three hours a day, includes high intensity Ashtanga yoga, swimming, pumping iron and cycling, and she's still in endless meetings plotting and planning her career. She even has a StairMaster stepping machine in her office which she works out on as she takes calls."

Madonna is also pressing ahead with work on a new album, and last Thursday she took a surprise trip to the U.S. — to host a screening of her new film, Arthur And The Invisibles — without her film director husband, whose formerly stellar career has stalled in recent years.

Her solo trip raised eyebrows in their social circle, who had been hoping that the family's Christmas holiday may have built bridges between the troubled couple.

They stayed on a private island in the Maldives to "try to get over the stress of recent months", says a friend. However, Guy was on the beach with the children for most of the holiday while Madonna worked out in the gym. "She hates going out in the sun these days," says a confidante. "She won't risk the wrinkles."

Adds the friend: "They didn't reach any solid conclusions, apart from that Madonna said yet again she's homesick for the States and wants to move to New York. It's her home and she feels Guy should give it a shot.

"But he's being stubborn and says the kids should stay in school in the UK so they form lasting friendships and feel they have a solid base.

"Madonna also feels she's the one with the career these days, so what she wants to do should be the priority, whereas Guy refuses to be told what to do. Deep down he blames her for his career nosedive, because he feels people regard him as nothing more than Madonna's husband."

Even Guy's father, John, has weighed in, saying that another adoption would be the final nail in the coffin of his son's marriage.

John insists Guy is a perfect father to Lourdes, Rocco and David, but admits the couple are going through a difficult patch. He said: "They've had a difficult time. (David) is beautiful and Guy is very good with him. But I don't think he'd want to adopt again." Madonna, however, absolutely does want to adopt another child — preferably a Malawian sister for David.

Since returning from holiday, she has been seen arriving at her gym in St John's Wood, North-West London, invariably looking glum and clutching a large bottle of Volvic water.

As she jetted into New York the other day, friends were privately wondering how long it will be until she makes it her permanent home, surely far out of the reach of her new son's worried father.

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