1.19.2007

Britney Is Lame and Has Low Self Esteem



Dude.
C'mon.
Here's the thing.
If you are a pop star, no, wait a minute, if you are THE pop star, maybe you should try to avoid reading gossip rags with your picture on the cover in convenient stores.
Let me break it down for ya.
This is how the paparazzi works, but you already know this,
they follow you everywhere, they stake you out, they have lenses that can snap you from a mile away.
Knowing all of this, don't you think it would be a good idea for you to perhaps, purchase the above mentioned rag and read it in the privacy of you own trailer home, sorry I mean Beverly Hills mansion. I forgot who I was talking to for a sec.
Anyways. Girl, you are gonna end up fat and played out. Hire a stylist. Hire NEW f'ng handlers. Go home. Talk to your kids, better yet love them. They miss you.



PS Nice sunglasses cheech.




Source

Before They Were Stars

Very few celebs are born with a golden key to their chosen industry. There are some exceptions to that statement, but most celebrities got their starts like most of us ordinary people did or still are trying to do. Here is a look at the first jobs that these accomplished celebrities use to clock in at:

Warren Beaty- The elder playboy use to be a ‘rat catcher’.

Jack Nicholson- Jack was discovered working in the ‘mailroom’ at MGM.

Brad Pitt- Mr. Jolie use to ‘wear a chicken suit and hand out fliers’ in front of El Pollo Loco (a mexican chain in California).Photo: El Pollo Loco Chicken Mascot

Nathan Lane- Nate use to be a ’singing telegram delivery boy’.

Robin Williams- Whacko was once a street mime (what a stretch).

Demi Moore- The tough actress was a ‘debt collector’.

Ellen Degeneres- Shucked oysters’ and ’sold clothes’ for retail chain Merry Go Round.

Garth Brooks- GB was a ‘boot seller’ in Nashville.

Jerry Seinfeld- He ’sold light bulbs’ over the phone.

Walt Disney- Walt ‘drove an ambulance’ during World War I in France.

Elvis Presley- The king ‘drove trucks’ after high school and wanted to be an ‘electrician’.

Lucy Lui- The daughter of Chinese immigrants, Lui began working in a ‘pajama factory’ at the age of 11.

Mariah Carey- This diva ’swept the floors’ of a hairdresser….for one day.

Rush Limbaugh- Rush ’shined shoes’ before landing his radio gig.Photo: Ronald McDonald

Danny Devito- Fat Dan use to be a ‘hairdresser’ at his sister’s saloon.

Sharon Stone- Before her instinct to spread her legs she use to ’supersize at McDonalds’.

Jason Lee- The star of My Name is Earl use to ‘wrap burritos at Taco Bell’.

Madonna- The material Brit use to ’sell donuts at Dunkin’ Donuts’.

Stephen King- SK was inspired to write Carrie while ‘cleaning high school girl’s locker room’.






Source

Scarlett MayTurn To Porn


33 year old porn star "veteran" Jenna Jameson tells magazine FHM that she there will be a biographical movie about her scandalous life later this year, and that she wants a real star to play herself.

"We're looking hopefully at Scarlet Johansson. She's my choice. I think she's beautiful", Jenna says. Her autobiography "How To Make Love Like A Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale" became a bestseller in 2004.

Thus far there are have been no comments from Scarlet regarding the request, but according to the magazine, she has been quoted saying that she's not opposed to doing nudity as long as it's for the right project.




I met her once on the set of that tennis movie she did with Dennis Quaid and she was a total bitch. She kept looking past us and even had the audacity to give my boyfriend (now hubby) the once over .
I really liked her in Ghost World but that's about it. I don't think I could even name another one of her flicks. Whatever, her boobs are perfect for a JJ bio.


Source

Mary-Kate Looks Retarded...Again





Listen, if you are 4' tall, weigh 60 lbs, and have bleach blond hair I have some advice for you. Stay the fuck away from gigantic cluncky loafers. They make you look like a god damn circus clown. They do not look good on you in fact they make you look retarded...again.




Source

Britney Is Not In A Relationship, Just Scrumpin'


Britney Spears says she and Isaac Cohen are not item! "Me and Isaac are not together, by the way," Spears told X17 Online. The paparrazzi spotted Brit leaving the Coffee Bean in Santa Monica with two friends Thursday. The newly single pop princess then headed to a convenience store to change her clothes in the bathroom. While there, she couldn't resist reading celebrity mags with stories written about her! Later, Spears was filmed heading into Chateau Marmont.

Britney's giving it up for free, good for her. When is this girl gonna learn how to keep her legs closed?????


Source

Looks Like Someone's Over Justin






Cameron Diaz & Kelly Slater surfing in Oahu



I used to be so in love with Kelly Slater when he was 'Slade' on Baywatch. He was my dream guy. Not so much anymore, he kind of got fugly as he got older. Him & Diaz are perfect for each, both fug surfers...




Source